


The Farmer

by jackandsamforever



Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, One-shot set after "The Cyprus Agency"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-28
Updated: 2014-01-28
Packaged: 2018-01-10 08:42:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1157538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jackandsamforever/pseuds/jackandsamforever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a one-shot set immediately after "The Cyprus Agency". Red gets a phone call from a heartbroken Liz.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Farmer

Red walked out of Diane Fowler's house and pulled his coat tightly around him. He felt a chill that wasn't coming from the outside air, but from inside himself. All he could think about was that she'd said she knew what had happened to his family; something he'd been trying to find out for over twenty years. It pained him to think about how close he could have been to finally knowing, but he wasn't willing to let that traitor live in exchange. It simply wasn't worth it to him; he would find out another way. He didn't know how or who from, but when he did, there would be hell to pay. Nothing in this world could stop him.

He felt the sting of tears and quickly blinked them back. It still pained him greatly to think about his precious, innocent daughter. She'd been the one thing he'd had to live for, and she'd been ripped from him with a callousness that hardened his heart beyond caring who was left in the carnage of his reckoning. He still wasn't finished, and he wouldn't be until whomever was responsible was killed by his own hand; but yet that still wouldn't heal the gaping hole in his heart. He didn't know if anyone ever would be able to, but Lizzy, _his_ Lizzy had the best chance to.

He shook his head as he stepped into the waiting car. Dembe nodded at him, but didn't say anything as he began driving. Red took his fedora off and put it on his knee, then leaned his head back against the headrest. He was so damn tired, and it was a tiredness that never went away, no matter how much he slept. It pained him to think about Lizzy and her damned stubbornness, because she kept ignoring his repeated warnings that all was not right with her husband. It was as if she was lying to herself about her marriage just so she could say to Red that everything was fine, and that he was wrong about Tom. He wasn't of course, he knew that for a fact, but she would have to find that out for herself since she wouldn't listen to him. It astounded him that she still wanted to bring a baby into that situation, and frustrated the hell out of him that he couldn't just come out and tell her the real reason he knew that Tom isn't who he says he is, but she wouldn't believe him anyway; so he wasn't going to waste his breath. He was done with that.

He heard a cell phone ringing, but didn't pay much attention because he was still ruminating about Liz's situation, but watched detachedly as Dembe pulled it out of his pocket. There were a few murmured words, then Dembe handed the phone back to him and said, "It is Agent Keen. Do you want to talk to her?"

He didn't, because he didn't want her to hear how broken and defeated he was feeling, but he knew that Liz wouldn't take no for an answer. He sighed and took the phone reluctantly, clearing his throat of the emotion he knew she would detect if he wasn't careful. "Lizzy", he said a little _too_ cheerfully, "What can I do for you?"

He heard a sniff then nothing else. His heart dropped, something had happened. "Lizzy, what's wrong?"

"Red." His name was said breathlessly, and with a heartbreaking sob that he'd only ever heard one other time from her; when she'd thought Tom was cheating on her.

"Sweetheart, talk to me." He was growing more and more concerned with her silence.

He heard her take a deep breath, "Can you come to my house?"

He leaned forward to Dembe and put a hand on his shoulder, "Dembe, take me to Lizzy's please."

Dembe nodded and turned the car around quickly.

Red leaned back and ran a hand over his face, "I'm coming Lizzy, will you be ok until I get there?"

"Please hurry."

He wished he could be there now. "I'll be there shortly."

He hung up and tossed the phone on the next seat over and sighed. Tom better not have done something to hurt her or he was going to kill him, and take great pleasure in doing so.

They arrived within ten minutes or so, and Red stepped out of the car quickly and hurried up the stairs. He knocked and waited until he heard a faint, "Come in."

He walked in and immediately saw Liz sitting on the floor of the living room, staring at the stroller in front of her. He took his coat off and made his way over to her, then slid the coat over her shoulders and crouched down next to her. She didn't acknowledge him, but did pull his coat tightly around herself, as if she was trying to ward off the chill in her heart; he placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed lightly. She finally looked up at him, with tears running down her cheeks, and said quietly, "We're not going to adopt the baby."

He closed his eyes to hide his relief at her words. "Where's Tom?"

She bit her lip and shook her head, "I don't know. I told him that I was having some doubts about our relationship, and that adopting a baby probably wasn't the best idea right now", she sniffed and attempted to wipe the tears away with the back of her hand, then continued, "He didn't say much, but a few minutes later he just left, and didn't say where he was going. He's been gone for a couple of hours now."

The coward. He lifted his hand from her shoulder and wiped the tears away with that continued to fall from her eyes with his fingers.

"Oh, Lizzy. I'm sorry-"

She cut him off and said angrily, "No, you're not. You're happy that it's not going to happen." Her voice took on a self-degradating tone, "You tried to warn me, and I finally listened. I'm sure you're patting yourself on the back as we speak."

He sat down next to her and put his arm around her shoulders, but didn't try to pull her closer, "Lizzy, I want more than anything for you to be happy, and I would never feel elation when you're in so much pain. I'm satisfied that you finally heeded my words, but I don't take pleasure in knowing that I was right."

She sniffed again, but didn't say anything, obviously thinking over his words.

He heard her take one last deep breath, the tears finally slowing down, then leaned her head on his shoulder, "You're right. I'm just looking for a scapegoat. It's easier to blame someone else."

Red was surprised at her sudden forgiveness, but wasn't going to look at it too closely. He would take what he could get.

He patted her shoulder, "I understand, believe me."

They sat in silence and he ran his fingers up and down her arm lightly. She still had her head on his shoulder, but hadn't moved any closer to him, and didn't seem inclined to. His foot was starting to go numb, so he pulled his arm from her shoulders and said, "Are you going to be ok?"

She must have almost been asleep, because she blinked sleepily at him and nodded, "I will be. Thanks for coming over. I didn't know who else to call."

He put his hand on her knee, "Lizzy, I will always be here for you. No matter what. Don't ever hesitate to call me."

She frowned, her eyes still puffy from the tears, "Why?"

He raised his eyebrows in question, "Why what?"

"Why do you care? What's so special about me?"

He sighed and pursed his lips, "We've discussed this before. You know I can't, and won't, answer that. Just know that I do care about you deeply, and I hope one day that I'll be able to tell you the reasons."

He was letting his emotions come through too much in his voice and she wasn't ready to hear it, so he quickly stopped talking and looked at her with soft eyes and a slight smile.

She nodded, apparently expecting that answer from him. "I guess I have to accept that."

He stood up with a groan, putting his weight on his right foot because his left was asleep. He reached his hand down to help her up, and when she took it, he pulled her up next to him.

She took off his coat and handed it back to him with a small smile. "You should probably go, I don't know how much longer Tom is going to be gone."

"That's probably a good idea." He draped his coat over his arm and continued, "I want you to promise to call me if you need anything else."

She nodded and reached for his wrist, then squeezed it lightly in thanks. "I will, but I'm sure I'll be ok, I just need time to process everything."

He nodded and turned to leave, but she moved her fingers from his wrist to his hand and stopped him, "Are you ok, Red? You seem sad."

He wasn't going to tell her what happened. It would only damage their progressing relationship, and he couldn't tell her about his family anyway.

So he told her a half truth and squeezed her hand, "I'm just saddened for you, Lizzy. I know how badly you want a child."

She smiled sadly, too blinded by her own grief to see that he wasn't telling her the whole truth. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He squeezed her fingers once more, then dropped her hand and stepped closer.

He looked at her for moment, and when she didn't shy away at his proximity, leaned down and kissed her cheek. He pulled back after a second and said, "I'll see you soon. I'll probably be returning to work with you at the Post Office shortly."

She looked surprised, "Did you find out who the mole was?"

"That's for another time, Lizzy, I need to go now."

"But, Red-"

He just shook his head and touched her shoulder then walked out the front door quickly; not seeing the suspicious look on her face as he did so.

He slid back into the car and said to Dembe, "I'm exhausted. Let's go."

Dembe nodded and drove away from the one person Red loved the most, and the one person who could mend his broken heart.

**Author's Note:**

> That episode last night killed me with feels. So naturally I had to write a fic. This is my first time writing a whole fic from Red's POV..so I don't even know if it's that good, but it had to be written..I couldn't go to bed with it running over and over in my head. So thanks for reading my gibberish and please let me know what you think.


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